Bulls? What bulls?

Today has been the first day where I've actually craved food. Not just thought about how great it would be to have a donut or to eat some ice cream but actually craved food!

I want food! Like, all of it!! Not like sitting next to amazing chips and salsa that I can say no to. No, I want to eat everything! I'm so hungry today! It's been rough!

We all have days where we can say no to everything that is bad for us...
"Nope...no chips for me. I'm good."
"Nope, no Chick-fil-a for me, I got a goal!!"
"Thanks, no donuts for me!"

Then we all have days like this...
"Babe, let me smell your fries."
"Baby girl, you don't want that last piece of candy do you?"
"Babe, just give me the dang fries!!"
"Don't make me cut you for that last brownie!"

It just sucks! It's hard to know what I'm going to wake up like. One day I will wake up with the will power of a body builder, the next I day you have to pry food away from me!

All in all I've done really well today. I had a vegetarian omelet this morning with no cheese. (We are still out of town so we had to eat out.) I had a protein bar and a few protein drinks like normal and even had these little chocolate protein bites that are really good. However, for dinner the hubby wanted Chick-fil-A so we stopped there on our way back home. I had like 2 fries and a chicken sandwich without the top bun. Not great but could have been much worse!!

Days like today are why I started this blog. I wanted it to help keep me accountable. To know I have people in my corner. I also wanted those who read my blogs to know that we all have days where we wake up ready to "grab the bull by the horn" and then we smell fries and it's all over.

Tomorrow is a normal, but very long day at work. No- four hour drive. No reason to eat out. No reason to go off track. I'll make sure I bring enough food with me for the day and hopefully it'll also be a "bull by the horn" type a day!

Wish me luck!

Oh! These are the Chocolate Protein bites I was talking about. Super good!

Mexican Food

So there I was, sitting in my favorite kind of restaurant in the world- Mexican food. In a town that has amazing Mexican food! Oh my goodness! Chips and salsa. How I LOVE chips and salsa.

I did it....I said no. Even to the second dish of warm freshly made, perfectly salted slices of heaven that was placed on our table- I said no. Thank God for will power!! I had to use every last ounce I possibly had in my whole body but I said no.

I want them still. I can smell them. Oh man! But I have a mission. I have goals. And eating said freshly made, perfectly salted slices of heaven would add a ton of salt into my body. Bloating it all up. Making the scale go crazy high in just a day. I couldn't drink enough water to try and combat that bloat.

I still want them. I can say no though! Who says no to chips and salsa? Me! Wow. I guess my trip to getting healthy is on the right path.

For lunch I ordered the chicken fajitas. I skipped the tortillas which again almost killed me but I did it. I had the rice, refried beans and mixed veggies with chicken. I even ate the guacamole and most of the sour cream scoops. I enjoyed every bite.  I'm not feeling guilty because I didn't go over board. I didn't eat everything in sight. I daid no to chips ans salsa for goodness sake!

So if you don't think you can skip the amazing food in front of you, know you can! If I skipped fresh chips and fresh tortillas at an amazing authentic Mexican restaurant you can skip that amazing- bad for you food- too!

Chips. Mmmm chips. I want chips.

I may be dreaming of chips and salsa tonight.....

8 days down!

So! It's been a little over a week since starting my new diet and new road with my new doctor and all I can say is....

It's been WONDERFUL! Hard. But wonderful!

Seeing the number on the scale go down is AMAZING! I haven't seen the scale go down in over 2 years! Every time I have stepped on that stupid scale it's been one of 2 options....a larger number or the same dumb number I have seen the last 12 times I had stepped on it. But, it's actually going down! Wow. What a huge sense of accomplishment I have!

I know we all want to know how much weight I've lost since starting. It's been a total of 8 days and I've lost 10 pounds! Wow. I still can't even believe this. It's just amazing. I've even wake up feeling good! Not exhausted, not bloated from the day before, not depressed knowing I am still on this same road to higher scale numbers.

The meds my new doctor has me on have helped tremendously with energy and with not wanting to eat on a constant basis.

- The new Thyroid medicine seems to be helping a lot with my energy level and just with my overall health. I feel better. Happier. It's hard to explain. I feel normal.  I guess that's it. I feel normal! Not in a constant depressed, sleepy, brain foggy, could fall asleep at the drop of a hat- mood. I actually just realized that I don't have that constant brain fog anymore. Wow. What it's like to be able to think!!

-The appetite suppressants have really helped as well. The last couple of days I have forgotten to take my afternoon dose and I really have noticed the difference. In the evening is when I've always wanted to eat everything in site so the last few nights I've really had to work at not eating anything extra. Today I'll remember to take my afternoon dose since we are yet again out of town. I know we will be around a lot of food the next two days and I don't want to have that constant nag of hunger AND have all the nummy food I could want right at my finger tips. I know I'll cave!

I know a lot of my close friends have thyroid problems and may be wondering what he has me on that is extra. Well, I already take a pretty large dose of Levotyroxine at 150mcg (a T4 medicine). Most everyone I know is normally about 50 to 115. The extra med he put me on is a T3 medicine that is called Liothyronine. I would asume that my dose is pretty small at only 25mcg per tab.

If you don't know the difference between the two medicines and what T3 and T4 are, there are tons of websites that you can look up to know the differences. It's too much info for my little blog to get into. And I'd hate to mess it up and give you wrong information! So go learn what it all means if you don't know! It is very interesting to see what it all means and just how important your thyroid functioning properly is!!

The appetite suppressants he has me on have been on the market for almost 50 years and are FDA approved and have never been recalled. They are called Diethylpropion. If you're not near my doctor and want to try this medicne, ask your doctor about them! Never hurts to ask and I have not had really any side affects. And I'm SUPER sensitive to caffeine so if you're thinking they might be too much on you, I'd at least try one if your doc thinks it's a good idea. I get super hyper and talk and mile and minute in the morning if I don't take them while eating food. But even if I'm drinking my first protein shake of the day and take them, I'm normally just fine.

We all know I'm not a doctor so go and talk to your doctor, go see my doctor or find a new doctor. Talk to them about your thyroid if you have problems or think you might, ask about possibly adding in an appetite suppressant to aid in your excess hunger. I am definitely not the know all of this stuff but I do know what is currently helping me! And maybe it will help you too!

Ok, so what I've been eating the last couple of days has varied from what I ate the first few days that I was on this new diet. The last few nights (because of my lack of second appetite suppressant) I have wanted to eat A LOT! I've not let myself do that but I have had real meals instead of the boxed stuff I was eating.

Last night I went shopping with some close friends and before I left I wanted to make sure I wasn't hungry. I cooked 2 veggie patties that have about 10 grams of protein and about 44 grams of carbs for the both of them. I put sliced tomatoes over them and enjoyed every bite. They tasted good and were not too terrible for me. Little high in carbs but I also ate a protein bar that evened the protein to carb ratio out.

After 2 hours of shopping and trying on a ton a clothes I had worked up a huge appetite again. We all went to Subway around the corner and I had a salad with chicken (sorta-vegan) and all the veggies with a little sweet onion sauce as my dressing. It filled me up for the rest of the night and again wasn't terrible for me.

Technically I'm not supposed to eat any meals that aren't from my doctors office but it hasn't been very doable the last few days. And again because I haven't taken my afternoon doses of meds I want to eat a lot more then I should. I think at my appointment this week I'm going to tell him that I don't want to eat his meals the entire day. I need real food. I crave healthy food so I need to eat it. And he doesn't care, just wants to know so he can monitor it.

I'm so excited to weigh in this Friday. Never thought I'd say that or feel that way in a million years! Even on my previous weight loss journey did I get excited about weighing in! I always dreaded it.

Oh and to let you know- I  have been weighing in every day. (Only because I'm on this super strict part of my diet.) I have seen the scale go up and down even in this last week too the tune of a gain of 5 pounds in a day! So, if you're weighing in every day...stop! It's not good for us. It's hard to see a gain of 5 pounds in a day. You start to wonder what happened. What did I do wrong, what can I eat that's better? It's just our bodies. Tomorrow I'll be down 8 pounds! So don't weight in everyday! Just don't!

Docu-Kick

I love documentaries. I don't know what it is but I can watch them pretty much all day, everyday. Maybe it's because I get so caught up in them that I am either throwing away all my stuff to live "small" or buying a new juicer and a 20 pound bag of carrots to start juicing 5 times a day. The idea of something new to try is so much fun to me.

These are some of my favorite health types that are all on Netflix. Some are pretty graphic and all are very eye opening!

My poor family and mainly hubby has to put up with me when I get into a "docu-kick". I'm either telling them all about it or trying to get them on this new bandwagon with me... "Lets cut out all processed foods! It's killing us!" "Lets live in a house where we throw NOTHING away!!" It can all be used some how right? Can you say compost? Goggles from toilet paper rolls? That's right. Save it ALL!

Then a week later I watch a one on hording and throw EVERYTHING away!! NO more shopping EVER! Those are my purging days. Lately I've had a LOT of purge days! My house is getting pretty empty actually. To the point that I am having a huge yard sale this next weekend and selling everything but the sheets we sleep in. Well, maybe I kept a little more then that.

I saw this quote below once and fell in love. It was around the first time I purged the whole house. It worked well. I was able to give a ton away, sell a bunch of useless stuff and I ended up feeling a little more free. Weird right?

You hear about people having an Ah-Ha moment in their life and it completely changes them. Well, I seem to have one every time I watch a new documentary. I think that's why I love them so much. I always take away something from one. Whether it's to stop eating as much processed foods or if its to stop buying so much stuff. I pull little things from them and it normally changes my life. Am I the only one? Maybe this is a really weird quirk about me. O'well. I'll take it.

In this new journey to be healthy I am trying to get rid of bad habits and habits that get me nowhere. My love for shopping gets me nowhere. Except into more debt! Eating a ton of processed foods is horrible for me and just makes me fatter! Anyone else have a bad habit that watching a film could help break? Watch Food Inc. You'll never have fast food again!

Oh, and I think this is hilarious....some food for thought....

Go. Love.

I feel like writing today. I guess I have a lot on my mind. Today is the one year anniversary of loosing a close friend that I've posted about before. She is very very missed by me and her friends and family.

I write more today because my hubby lost a cousin this week to a motorcycle accident. It brought up a lot of feelings I had tried to forget. A freak accident that no one know why happened. The feelings I have for the family are overwhelming. I know what it's like to loose a close friend in a tragic accident but not a family member like they have. I just can't imagine the pain.

The love for family, in my mind, has always been different than that I have for friends. Not any less. Just different. So I can't imagine what his wife and children are going through. His mom. They expected him home in only 2 minutes. I'm sure they had plans to celebrate father's day this weekend. Not to plan his funeral. It's just tragic. It breaks my heart to see the pain.

For all of you that have lost their moms or dads, brothers, sisters, cousins or aunts and uncle to something tragic, I am so sorry for your loss. It's not something you will ever get over but only time will make easier to live. 

Life has this weird way of going on after we loose someone in a sudden way. You expect everyone around you to be in just as much pain. To have their worlds flip upside down like yours. But for some reason life goes on. People still wake up in the morning and go to work and do their daily activities while you sit and wonder how you will live without this person you just suddenly lost. You don't get to say hello to them anymore. You can't laugh with them anymore. Pester them or hug them. 

What will you do with their things? Things that meant the world to them may have no meaning to you. Do you get rid of it? Keep it because they would have kept it? Their things were left by them as if they would be right back. They didn't plan on leaving. Didn't plan on not returning to the people they love.

I had to clean out my friends work station only a day after she passed. She had left things out because she knew that she would be back on Tuesday with the rest of us. Her drill where she left it. Her apron ready to be worn again. But there I was with another close friend cleaning out her things, boxing them up for what? So they could be looked at in a garage and create more heartache for the family that had to see it daily. Seeing her things sit. Not being used by her. Just wishing for one more day with her using those work things, seeing her in an outfit she loved. 

The loss of someone you love sucks. Just plain out and out sucks! It sucks if they go suddenly or if they are sick and you only have limited time, knowing every day you get closer to a time without them. I know we aren't supposed to ask God why these things happen. Why do we have fatal accidents and horrible sicknesses that take our loved ones away from us? But it's hard not too sometimes. Sometimes I find myself asking why did the driver have to fall asleep right then? Why did you have to get sick in the first place? Why? Forgive me, Lord.

I'll end here by saying that the people we loose are all so very missed. None of us know if we will be the one that gets sick, goes suddenly or goes in their bed at the old age of 104. 

We don't know. 

So, go. Live your life like you're the one who will go suddenly. 

Tell the people you love that you love them. 

Have fun.

Enjoy your family. 

Rest more. 

Love more. 

Put down the Windex and cleaning cloths and go play outside with your kids. 

Plant a garden.

Watch a movie and forget the dirty dishes. 

Eat a really good meal. 

Go on that vacation.

Have another baby.

Get healthy today! 

Start your life right now if you feel like you have been waiting. Don't wait for the right time, the right amount of money, the perfect house, the best car. Go give the ones you love kisses and hugs. Get your tent out and camp on your front lawn if you can't drive to the mountains. Build a fort in your living room and play with your kids or grand kids. Just go! Love and live!! We are here to love! 

DIET time!! Yes...a Diet!

Yesterday was day 2 of my new diet. Normally I wouldn't call it a diet but this is in fact a diet that I'm on right now. It's not a way of living. I've cut a lot of calories daily and until I can go back to a normal healthy way of preparing my own meals this is a DIET. Something that I won't always do. It is to jump start my new journey.

The new doctor I saw was amazing. (If you haven't read my previous posts, I've had a hard time finding a doctor to help me out with my weight gain and loss.) I saw him on Friday afternoon, spent almost 2 hours at my first appointment while he explained everything to me. It was awesome!

He asked about my life. What I do for work? What my Husband does? Where our little goes during the days? Do we get to eat meals together? What is a normal day like? What, where and when have I been eating? So many questions to try and get a picture of what MY life is like. Then he asked more questions! It was amazing to have an actual MD ask me questions and want to help me and not just give me a cookie cutter answer. He explained everything to me in depth.

He broke down what MY current day of eating currently looks like. Showed how not eating for over 2 to 3 hours my blood sugars and insulin levels were tanking and storing fat. Showed me that what I was eating wasn't in the right protein to carb to fat ratio. Mostly I was not getting nearly enough protein in a day.

He liked the protein, almond milk and strawberry drink I have almost every morning and told me that I could continue to have it. I'm drinking 2 a day now. He wants me eating about 6 meals a day. Very small meals ranging from 150 to 250 calories a meal. Now I know you're going to freak out when you total the amount of calories a day BUT it's only for a 2 week time frame then he checks all my stats and we go over it all together. His main concern is that I am not loosing too fast. Which we all say we want but loosing muscle mass isn't good. And loosing too much too fast will loose muscle not fat.

Speaking of muscle he told me exactly what my muscle content, fat content and water content was at my appointment as well. Very interesting. I guess I have a great muscle mass from my previous gym time and current time. So under this fat, I have good bones and good meat! Was nice to know I'm not ALL flubber!

My meals are small pre-packaged meals right now. So far most of them have been good, mainly the bars and different protein chips and such. Only one was super gross- a tomato soup that I think was supposed to be red in color but more resembled Pepto-soup. Totally pink and chunky. So gross. I'll have to try and make that better...maybe some fresh tomatoes and basil from the garden. Today I'm also going to try another hot meal so I will let you know how that goes. Please pray!

Am I dying from not eating the fun stuff? Yes and no. We went out of town for the weekend and I knew had I not started the diet the day we left, I'd just come home full of sugar and bad for me foods and be depressed. I bit the bullet and ate my small meals throughout the day for 2 days while I watched people eat all my favorite foods. And I actually was ok with it! Weird. Normally I would have been super envious about the donuts my little and hubby were eating. But instead I thought about my goals and just said no. I have will power! Who knew?!

So here are my numbers. This is about me getting healthy but I want to know that you're not alone if you're reading this. I want to be honest with myself as well as honest for those of you that are reading this. My numbers currently suck. But in only 2 days I'm already down 3 pounds. I can't wait to see what it will be in 2 weeks. 2 months!

I weighed in at his office at 252,2 pounds
Total body fat weighed in at 108.9 pounds or 43.6% (Should be about 17-22%)
Total muscle weighed in at 140.9 pounds or 56.4%
My BMI is 44! Ugh! So horrible!
He has me taking appetite suppressants 2 times a day and also has me on some strong Vitamins.

I can't believe I'm even posting those numbers. So embarrassing. But they can only get better from here. In fact they already are better! I'm in this for the long haul. Even though I'm on a diet right now I can't wait to turn it back into my healthy lifestyle again. I miss craving fruits and vegetables. I used to CRAVE broccoli! Can you believe that? I loved it! After the gym my mouth would water over the fact I would soon be eating a ton of steamed veggies!! So good!!

Oh! I didn't mention water. He told me to of course drink more water. The last week I've been trying to drink a lot more anyway so it was easy to continue. It actually helped a lot in the cravings I had this weekend. I just put those little crystal light packets in my bottles of water and it helped to drink them even easier.

So, go.

LOTS of it!!

Fat kid Day

So, today I feel like a fat kid who got away with eating the whole bag of marshmallows before their mom found out!

The family and I Went out to dinner Last night because the hubby and I both worked late. Which meant no left overs for lunch.

I woke up and got ready for work and then found no almond milk for my normal protein shake. I can't stand them with water or normal milk so I skipped it expecting to grab some toast at the coffee shop next door. Nope. They were fresh out of bread?! Huh? So, a bagel with a little bit of cream cheese it was.
See. Sorta-vegan.

I had a nice big veggie salad for lunch with a little ranch. We then went to take my mother in law out for dinner for her birthday. She picked Red Robin and I had a lettuce wrapped veggie burger and a few fries. After, I had a berry soft serve from Costco which is defiantly NOT vegan and shortly after I felt 9 months pregnant I was so bloated!

Did I mention that I had a box of Hot Tamales too? No? Yea, I ate one of those too. Now, I feel like my once loose fitting top is skin tight!

All in all it wasn't a horrible day but I feel awful because of the little extra dairy I had and the fries. I did choose better options by having a salad instead of having another bread option. I had my burger wrapped in lettuce and I chose the veggie patty instead of the meat option. And having the soft serve was so I could skip the chocolate cake.

Tonight I'll drink a ton of water to try and flush out the bloat. Maybe I'll have a strawberry drink too. I make these water and strawberry drink which really helps the bloating.

I take my little bullet blender cup, fill it half way with water add a little crystal light (any flavor really, I use lemon or blackberry and lemon or even strawberry) then I fill the rest with frozen strawberries. Blends great and is super good with really minimal calories.

Speaking of strawberries, our strawberries have been growing like crazy already this year. If I could keep them out of my daughter's hands I could actually bring some in one day! Unfortunately they are "hers" and I sometimes get 1. Maybe 2. And that is only if I can pluck one from a plant before she sees it!

Gotta love having a little gardener!

Here's to better days! And to making decisions that are better now than I would have made 6 months ago!!

One year

What would you do if you knew you only had a week to live? If you knew on a certain day at a certain hour that your life would be no longer?

Being a Christian I know my life isn't really ending but just beginning. However, my life here on earth would be so hard to leave behind. Even knowing there is perfect peace and loved ones waiting for me on the other side I would still want to stay here. I'm sure that sounds dumb to a lot of people. Perfect peace over stress? I can't imagine not being able to hug my little girl and my husband for however long it would take for them to join me.

I would want to see my little girl grow up. Watch her graduate from high school. See her in love. And eventually watch her have babies of her own.

I would miss my husband picking on me, supporting me and laughing with me at all my weird little quirks.

A lot of people that may read this know I lost a close friend last year. She had become like a sister to me. We would fight and laugh in the same sentence. I would pick on her and she would pick on me. We pushed each other's buttons daily. I would make her freeze while we worked and she would leave her nail drill going so the sound would bug me to no end. We were together more then some families are during the week. We worked 5 days a week together for a little over 2 and a half years.

We also went and did a lot of things together as well. Movies, Thirty-one parties, dinners and a lot of social get togethers with other friends.

She was suddenly taken in a horrible car crash almost a year ago now. 12 days from now, a year will have passed since she and her fiance went out on their regular date night. They were diving home and another driver crossed over into their lane and hit and them head on. Thankfully, their young daughter was not with them and miraculously her fiance walked away with minor injuries.

I think about that night daily. It's something that I can't stop thinking about actually. We had gone away for the weekend and had gotten home a couple hours before the crash. I didn't text her because I didn't want to bug her. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to go to bed.

So, there I was in the morning with a ton of messages on my phone and a post from her fiance telling her to come back to him. People asking me what happened? Where is she? Is she ok? What about her fiance and daughter? I didn't know what they were all talking about! I heard the house phone ring and I grabbed it and it was my mom.

"Kelly, don't get on Facebook!"

"I already am, what the hell is going on?"

"She's gone, baby girl, she's dead."

"What are you talking about. Whatever, I have to go and figure out what happened."

I was instantly overwhelmed. My first thought was that it's not true. There is no way that could happen to someone I know this close. That is what happens to other people's friends. Not mine.

My second thought was her baby girl. And then I started sobbing. I couldn't handle knowing she wasn't going to have her mommy. It's not right. She's such a baby. She needs her. It's not fair.

I sobbed all day. My poor husband had never seen me really cry, let alone sob uncontrollably. He was a mess too. He didn't know how to talk to me. Or handle the situation. He just took care of our little one. It's all he could do.

Until now I've never really spoken about that day to anyone that isn't very close to me. Loosing a friend is so hard but I have no idea what it would be like to loose a mom or a daughter or a fiance so suddenly.

My feelings of loss are nothing in comparison and I can only imagine what it must be like. I mourn for my friend daily still. I go past the accident site and look at her flowers and sometimes I smile while other times my heart breaks.

I never thought something like this would shake me to the core like it did. It was such a sudden loss. I mean, I had taken pictures of a bath bomb that smelled like Gain detergent to show her at work the next week. She always had everything smell like Gain. The towels, her clothes, bags. Everything. She was like a walking billboard for Gain. She loved that smell.

Loosing such a close friend is something I'm dealing with on a daily basis and trying to get past it. My road to healthy isn't just body but also mental health as well. And mourning someone who is dancing in heaven while we are suffering is not healthy.

She would be so mad to see me so upset over her. She would give me a big hug that she knew I cringed over and tell me it's ok. I'm fine. And to not cut her baby's hair.

I miss you friend. I'll never forget our laughs and our fights but I need to let go.

-your rockstar of a friend, Kelly.

Waste of time and money!

Well, the new doctor was a huge let down. She did nothing. And by nothing I mean she did NOTHING. She told me I had labs that should have been drawn a couple months ago (which I already did) and that I needed to get them done and see her in a week or so.

No thanks.

I did have my thyroid labs done (she wouldn't take any other labs when I asked) so I can get a copy of them to take to another doctor. 

I have known of a doctor that I had almost tried a year or so back but was worried because I didn't want him selling me all sorts of crazy diet stuff. He specializes in weight loss so maybe he can actually figure out what the heck is wrong with me. I have had a few friends go to him and had great results so I'm hoping he will work with me. I also know he has given hormone tests to one of my friends and she found out they were all outta whack!

What a nice concept...a doctor actually taking tests to see what's wrong. Instead of telling you you're fine and to go workout and eat a carrot. And this from a doctor who has had stomach bypass surgery. Not to say that this isn't something some people need but isn't it kind of hypocritical to have an obese doctor telling you that you need to workout 6 hours a day while she just went and had surgery to loose her weight to gain a bunch of weight back? Ugh.

I digress.

This journey isn't about what my doctor will and won't do. Its about me getting healthy. And if the doctors on the hill won't help, I'll figure out a better way. I know good food is a start and I'm doing ok there. Getting some help from the weight loss doctor will for sure help! Sticking to the gym and working out is also going to help. 

Here's to getting it done myself!

Whoever that girl is....knows what's up. 

I'm a "sorta" vegan.

Today I have a visit with a new doctor. Hopefully she can figure out why I have so much trouble loosing weight now. I know I have some horrible food days but normally I do pretty well. I know that a few bad days couldn't possibly be making it this impossible to loose weight.

I say I'm a "sorta vegan" because I cut out meat and dairy from my diet about 3 months ago. (And sorry, it has nothing to do with saving animals....I love me my Michael Kors leather purses.) Also, some days I'll have some dairy but it's super limited. Not like I used to have. Now I'll have a little half and half in my coffee, a slice of cheese on a sandwich and maybe a yogurt. But that's about all.

As far As meat though, I've had it maybe 3 or 4 times since quitting in April. Meat I can live without. Its not something I really ever crave. Never really have. Sometimes a big fat greasy cheese burger with a pound of bacon on it sounds amazing but the desire quickly fades for some reason.

I know you want to ask....everyone does...Where do you get your protein from? I get it from a lot of things. Beans, protein shakes and bars, chia seeds, even some veggies have a small amount of protein in them like spinach. I get enough trust me.

My daily food intake looks something like this....

Breakfast...
Orgain Organic Protein powder with unsweetened almond milk and a few frozen strawberries. On days off I normally eat Cheerios with the same unsweetened almond milk.

Lunch...
Normally I have leftovers from dinner. So, that could be stir fry veggies over rice, a veggie burger on sourdough bread or some spaghetti sauce over veggie noodles. If I order at the coffee shop next door I've been getting a veggie sandwich on an asiago bagel with a slice of cheese. Sometimes I'll just have some cheerios or a peanut butter and sugar free jelly sandwich.

Dinner....
Lately I've been on a huge veggie and rice kick. I make some sticky rice and throw a bunch of sauteed veggies over it. Broccoli, asparagus, mushrooms, onion, garlic, sweet peppers and anything else I have around. Or I make us some veggie burgers that I either make from scratch or that I buy from Costco.

Snacks...
Yogurt, chia pudding, strawberries, banana, or anything else I can grab easily. I actually don't snack often.

Did you know Oreos are vegan? Yea. I do.

On bad days I binge eat things. Its something I have been trying to overcome for years. If I buy it and bring it in the house (which I'm normally really good about not doing) I want to eat it all. Ice cream, cookies, or candy. Its honestly never in the house long. My hunny loves to bring stuff like that home once in awhile and I try my hardest to stay away from it but if I give in to it then I want it all. Now. I asked him awhile back to stop bringing it home and so far so good. Its been weeks since we had a bag of Oreos in the house and I really haven't binged on anything in awhile. Oh wait! At my friends little girls birthday party this weekend I ate about 42 rice crispy treats (totally exaggerating here but I know I had way too many!)

So, so far today I've had a bowl of Cheerios with almond milk and a large decaf Carmalizer made with Coconut milk from Dutch. At my normal coffee shop next to my salon I get an Americano, decaf with half and half and some honey. Exciting I know.

We just left the gym after lifting for almost and hour. I didn't get to swim which broke my heart but the pools were both full of classes. This was me yesterday....in heaven...

Now I'll have a protein shake to get me through until after a photo shoot I'm going to do and the doctor appointment I have.

Hopefully she will help and not just say "that's your lot in life unless you want to eat nothing and workout 6 hours a day".  I want to get My thyroid decked out again (I'm super exhausted again and my hair is falling out again) and get my hormones checked out. The last time I asked my other doctor to check my hormones out for me like estrogen, progesterone and testosterone and she said we already know they are messed up because of your thyriod and ignored my request.
Ugh...

Hopefully this gal is better!

Let's hope!

Swimming

I've always loved swimming. As a kid I remember being in our above ground pool learning to swim when I was super small. It was so fun. My mom probably didn't think so.

I remember one time my lovely, protective big brother and a friend of his were making a whirlpool in in said pool. I was in a little floaty toy and they hadn't noticed I flipped over mid whirl! My mom quickly fetched me out of the water and I was just fine.
I still loved swimming.

My grandma used to take all the grand kids to the beach every time she got. I would run straight for the water every time. I would stay in it having the waves knock me over and over. It's what I looked forward to every summer.

The last week we have spent lots of hours in our new gyms pool. Now, little miss loves the water as well. She asks to go every day now. Heck yes we can go to the pool! Let's roll!
Today the hubby and little girl played in the shallow end while I tried the lanes. I have been wanting to actually learn how to officially swim now for a few years. I try and I am horrible at It. I can't get the rhythm down or the breathing. I'm sucking in air and water at the same time and blowing out what air I have saved under the water. It's honestly hilarious.

It doesn't help either that I have a fear of deep ends in pools. It's weird, I know.

My first lap to he 6 foot area I just about jumped out. I had to calm myself down from screaming like a little girl to the hubby to come save me! I mean if the little 9 year old next to me can be playing there then I needed to suck it up! No little water monsters were going to take me under.

So, off I went back to the shallow end. I did a lot of laps in about an hour span. It was so amazing. Even though I have a breath length shorter then your average tree trunk- I think it went pretty well. My legs are sore out and my arms are feeling it as well.
Tomorrow I'll try and do some more laps while the little is in the big kid class.

Hopefully I won't drown.