I write more today because my hubby lost a cousin this week to a motorcycle accident. It brought up a lot of feelings I had tried to forget. A freak accident that no one know why happened. The feelings I have for the family are overwhelming. I know what it's like to loose a close friend in a tragic accident but not a family member like they have. I just can't imagine the pain.
The love for family, in my mind, has always been different than that I have for friends. Not any less. Just different. So I can't imagine what his wife and children are going through. His mom. They expected him home in only 2 minutes. I'm sure they had plans to celebrate father's day this weekend. Not to plan his funeral. It's just tragic. It breaks my heart to see the pain.
For all of you that have lost their moms or dads, brothers, sisters, cousins or aunts and uncle to something tragic, I am so sorry for your loss. It's not something you will ever get over but only time will make easier to live.
Life has this weird way of going on after we loose someone in a sudden way. You expect everyone around you to be in just as much pain. To have their worlds flip upside down like yours. But for some reason life goes on. People still wake up in the morning and go to work and do their daily activities while you sit and wonder how you will live without this person you just suddenly lost. You don't get to say hello to them anymore. You can't laugh with them anymore. Pester them or hug them.
What will you do with their things? Things that meant the world to them may have no meaning to you. Do you get rid of it? Keep it because they would have kept it? Their things were left by them as if they would be right back. They didn't plan on leaving. Didn't plan on not returning to the people they love.
I had to clean out my friends work station only a day after she passed. She had left things out because she knew that she would be back on Tuesday with the rest of us. Her drill where she left it. Her apron ready to be worn again. But there I was with another close friend cleaning out her things, boxing them up for what? So they could be looked at in a garage and create more heartache for the family that had to see it daily. Seeing her things sit. Not being used by her. Just wishing for one more day with her using those work things, seeing her in an outfit she loved.
The loss of someone you love sucks. Just plain out and out sucks! It sucks if they go suddenly or if they are sick and you only have limited time, knowing every day you get closer to a time without them. I know we aren't supposed to ask God why these things happen. Why do we have fatal accidents and horrible sicknesses that take our loved ones away from us? But it's hard not too sometimes. Sometimes I find myself asking why did the driver have to fall asleep right then? Why did you have to get sick in the first place? Why? Forgive me, Lord.
I'll end here by saying that the people we loose are all so very missed. None of us know if we will be the one that gets sick, goes suddenly or goes in their bed at the old age of 104.
We don't know.
So, go. Live your life like you're the one who will go suddenly.
Tell the people you love that you love them.
Have fun.
Enjoy your family.
Rest more.
Love more.
Put down the Windex and cleaning cloths and go play outside with your kids.
Plant a garden.
Watch a movie and forget the dirty dishes.
Eat a really good meal.
Go on that vacation.
Have another baby.
Get healthy today!
Start your life right now if you feel like you have been waiting. Don't wait for the right time, the right amount of money, the perfect house, the best car. Go give the ones you love kisses and hugs. Get your tent out and camp on your front lawn if you can't drive to the mountains. Build a fort in your living room and play with your kids or grand kids. Just go! Love and live!! We are here to love!
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